I think I have a plan for the next few years. AND IT’S PRETTY MUCH THE SAME AS MY LIKE SECOND OR THIRD PLAN. Whyyyyyy do I get so indecisive? Honestly, if i just stuck with it, I’d be set! Now I need to make sure King’s lets me back in. But I fuckin rocked my program so I think it’s a possibility. Kids must do this all the time, right? How is a normal person, let alone ME, expected to make (and stick with) a big decision like this in a year? It aint fair, i say. I’m still a kid. I can barely decide what to have to lunch….. but I always pick the same thing, SO. 

I need a weird amount of reassurance before i do things. Not just big things, but like. All things. Like I remember before all my last exams, I needed someone telling me I was okay. Obviously I knew I was fine, but I actually needed it. It was really cathartic but I don’t want to be like that. It’s like my own decisions or feelings aren’t cement ‘ti someone else validates them for me. I’m confident in silly things, but I want to be confident where it matters too. I could have just trusted myself with my school plan but I changed my mind over ridiculous reasons that looking back actually don’t make a lot of sense. 

I want to keep doing social justice & peace because it’s, handsdown, the only subject i studied that I translated into my real life every day. It’s more than school, it’s an entire lifestyle, a spirituality, and just a new outlook on life, people, everything. And it’s very, very, very broad in what I can do at the end. I want to do these workshops, I want to help people. Ah. I just hope it all works out! 

I’m so excited to go back to London ah.